She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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