The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
