Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
