I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
