I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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