I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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