from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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