i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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