hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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