Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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