absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
