i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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