Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize