On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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