the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
