there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
