It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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