in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
