So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
