sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
