I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
