thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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