Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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