my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
