I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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