I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
