Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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