i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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