i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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