Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize