Moan for me like Helen Keller
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I sprained my soul last night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
