I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
