You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i don't like sucking hair
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
