nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I want to fling myself into the sun
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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