i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
When did angry sex become our thing?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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