You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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