well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
