Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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