...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
