Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Damn victory sex feels great
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
