Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
