You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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