I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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