happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
