their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
