My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
