in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
