how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Operation Purity has been aborted
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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