when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
