dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
