Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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