you turned your livingroom into a bong?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
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And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
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How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize