oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
