Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
how drunk are you?
Several
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize