What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
