Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
