whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
