So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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