brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
