is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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