hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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